SMARM

Cloyingly sweet words void of any sincerity is your signature theme if you registered high on smarm. While you judge and scorn people interiorly, thinking they are mentally deficient, ineffective, incompetent, or lazy, you smile externally, shake their hand, and feign a jocular approach as if they were your best friends. You are especially competent at noticing what people would like to hear so that you can say that and ingratiate yourself to them. This strength is especially powerful when paired with Teflon, which give you the permission to say anything you like and take responsibility for nothing.

Smarm sounds like this:

Ned T., Dean of Business School: “How ARE you today? We are the best business school in the western hemisphere all because of our talented staff and You, my friend, perform an invaluable service for the school. Really! We couldn’t do it without you. Of course, our priorities don’t include paying you more, but we just LOVE your work.”

Donald P., CEO: “Hey guy, how are we doin’ today? You know, we are so lucky to have you on our team, in our family. Yup, we’re all equals here and we show that in the way we talk to one another. Are you feelin’ it? I’m feelin’ it!”